So much has happened since posting my last blog; yet so much in my life is exactly the same. I'm blessed to have this paper trail as a reminder. It seems like just yesterday. 

“Mama went to heaven May 31, 2012. Her cheery smile and gentleness are treasures she left for us to remember. That reminds me of my father who joked as he raked leaves for dazzling bonfires, whistled while giving hay rack rides, and roasted hundreds of golden marshmallows for me. Dad's also in heaven. 

We all grieve the absence of certain people in our lives—and not just from death!!! Sometimes we're forced to leave our beloved homes and cherished friendships behind...” 

Ironically, my FB post on Oct. 28, 2012 [the day Hurricane Sandy hit the east coast] said, "Not gonna worry; not gonna fret. Somebody bigger than you and me is in control of this universe!!!" The rains came, winds blew, and our house remained intact; but the job my hubby casually applied for on that fateful day required another move. 
Our lives were upside down for quite awhile. 

Five months later, we closed on a house 1,000 miles away and our belongings were delivered. It took another seven months to unpack 300 boxes. I still haven't found some of my favorite toiletries but new ones have been purchased. All in all, it finally feels like home again. 

While sipping coffee early in the morning, appreciating beautiful gardens showcasing our lawn in the afternoon, or watching as stars emerge at night, I remain in awe of the world that spins around me. He's still in control and I'm content where I am...though the moments that take my breath away are causing me to begin writing once again. 

I reminisced in my own world early on Sunday morning July 15, 2012, sipping coffee and enjoying warm pannukakku with fresh blueberries from Michigan, out on the patio. Childhood memories flooded my head. It was Mama’s birthday and I missed her so much!!!

Birds chirped as the sun climbed higher in a golden sky, tinged with leftover rose and mauve. My soul was at peace but my heart ached—wishing I  could hear her voice saying, “I love you!” just one more time. Then I remembered a message my sister, Bonnie, left on my birthday, with Mama saying she was proud of me and loved me very much. What a wonderful gift! I also remembered the birthday card she sent, carefully inscribed with her  special wishes. Tears moisten my checks when I touch that precious memento. 

Is God good all the time? Looking back at Mama’s story, I sometimes wonder. We see the tapestry from a different perspective than our  creator does. Was the unbearable sadness Mama and her siblings endured as orphaned children just stuff that happens in life? Or did God have a reason for allowing the pain? No doubt, there are varied opinions. 

My Scandinavian roots go back to the Vikings who were adventurous, courageous, and determined to survive against difficult odds. My great-grandfather Johann Höglund helped settle Finland with repeated trips  across the Gulf of Bothnia as a sea captain. He knew adversity from weather,  the rugged terrain, and from humans who struggled to keep their promises. 

Mama was birthed from that ancestry and she proved our responses to circumstances can be victorious. Tragedy doesn’t need to destroy lives. Stressful incidents can be kindling for a bonfire that warms and offers hope, sharing the sweet aroma of His presence. She’s finally enjoying her well-deserved reward. 
 
Celebrating her life with a garden of flowers would make Mama happy so I’ll create a special place in her memory. The only thing left for me to
decide is—who will I sing my little Swedish songs to now, and who will listen to my new stories?